Nightmare in Retroville
lines, as Goddard carves a jack-o-lantern, howling *'Sheen': The time has come for a momentous decision which will affect us all forever. What are we going to be for Halloween? *'Carl': Lama Boy. *'Jimmy': Carl, you've been Lama Boy for the last eight years. *'Sheen': Yeah, plus Lama Boy's not scary. You're just creepy. You're supposed to be scary on Halloween. *'Carl': I know, so this year, I'm adding a cape. *'Sheen': Why do we hang for him? *''both walk out'' *'Jimmy': I supposed you're going to be Ultra Lord again. *'Sheen': No. I wore out my costume. I wore it every day when I watched the Ultra Lord Show at 5:00, 7:00 and 10:30, with repeats the following day at 9:00, 11:00, 1:30 and 6:00. *'Jimmy': Do you guys ever feel a little weird? You know, still dressing up costumes. *'Carl': Yeah. When you put it that way. *'Sheen': Not that you mention it. Can't say that I do. *'Carl': No way, man, that's great. *'Sheen': This year I want to be something really scary. *'Carl': You could wear a cape. *'Sheen': I said, really scary. *'Jimmy': You could be Ms. Fowl. *''all stick their tongues out, shivering and yelling, then cut to a black and white background, watching the Octopus Man Show, with people running away, screaming, with the octopus grabbing a bus, screaming, with Jimmy passing by Hugh'' *'Hugh': Hi, guys. Hey, my favorite monster movie is on. Octopus Man. He's got eight arms. Do you want to watch with me? It's the three-and-a-half hour director's cut with the alternate ending where he grows a ninth arm! *'Jimmy': No thanks, Dad. *'Hugh': I wanted to be Octopus Man for Halloween when I was a lad, but mother wouldn't buy me the costume. Said it was too scary, for a 16-year-old. I'll never forget her for that. Never! the tank chasing the octopus Run! Run, Octopus Man, run! They're going to get you. Poor misunderstood creature. *'Carl': So who are you going to be this year, Jim? Albert Einstein? Jet Fusion? That smart guy in a wheelchair that talks with the keyboard? *'Jimmy': Actually, I'm not going to trick-or-treat this year. *''both gasp'' *'Jimmy': I don't know. Halloween is kinda for kids. *'Carl': But we are kids and it's Halloween. *'Sheen': Yeah, Jimmy. Think of the bubble gum, the tiny chocolate bars, the artificial flavors, red dye number five. And it's all free. *'Jimmy': I've taken that into consideration, so I've been working on a little project. *'Sheen': Ooh, the plot thickens. *'Jimmy': Gentlemen, I have a proposition. I'll make you guys really scary for Halloween in exchange for 25% of your candy. *'Sheen': You think I'm a fool? Call it 50, we got a deal. *'Jimmy': Deal! To the... *'Carl': Oh, oh, Jimmy, can I say it this time, please? *'Jimmy': All right, Carl, go ahead. *'Carl': To the place where Jimmy has all this neat stuff and where he invents things and then something goes wrong and we have a big adventure. *'Sheen': To the lab! *''jack-o-lantern transitions into the lab'' *'Jimmy': This is my 27th greatest invention ever. Behold, the Neutronic Monster Maker. *'Sheen': Sweet name. Simply select a monster, step under the cone of creation, and it'll realign on your molecules to make you look like that monster, down to each horrifying atom. *'Carl': Cool! But Sheen, you got to promise that when you're scary, you won't scare me. *'Sheen': My word is my bond. his hand *'Jimmy': I've downloaded every monster imaginable. I have 102 different monsters to choose from. Here are the choices. throat A werewolf... *'Sheen': That's it, I want to be the wolf guy. Sheen, I have 101 other monsters. I know, Jimmy, but it's been my lifelong dream to be covered in hair. All right, werewolf it is. What about you, Carl? The Hunchback of Notre Dame? *'Carl': Uh, too hunchy. *'Jimmy': The blob? *'Carl': Too blobby. *'Jimmy': The Phantom of the Opera? *'Carl': Too Operaey. *'Jimmy': Frankenstein? *'Sheen': Frahnkenshteen. *'Carl': No, I don't like his wardrobe. I'm more of a summer. gasps Who's the guy with the cape? *'Jimmy': Dracula. *'Carl': Yeah, he has a cape. I want to be Dracula. All right, Dracula and a werewolf it is. the buttons, turning the crank, crackling the electric *'Sheen': Wolf me up! Wolf me up! *''pushes the lever down, transforming into a wereworlf'' *'Werewolf Sheen': howling Yeah! It's werewolf time. then running up, howling *'Carl': Now me! Now me! *''pushes lever up and down, transforming into a vampire'' *'Vampire Carl': Blah! giggling I am Dracula. How's my cape look? *'Sheen': We look awesome. You sure you don't want to be a monster, Jimmy? *'Jimmy': No thanks, I'll just enjoy the fruits of your labor. *'Vampire Carl': Fruit? I want candy. *'Jimmy': Come on, let's ride. *''all go in the hover car, then the skull transitions into a roof opening it up, driving down'' *'Jimmy': By using the hover car, we can go to more houses, which of course means more candy. *'Vampire Carl': Hey, Jimmy. Has anyone ever told you you're a boy genius? *'Werewolf Sheen': Enough with the chitchat. This hombre lobo wants candy. with his arm up *'Jimmy': I believe this is going to be a Halloween we shan't ever forget. *'Hugh': Uh, Jimbo? Have you seen my suede duck feet with the... down Ow! Golly. Hey, where the... Where the heck am I? Oh, no. I must have fallen into a parallel dimension with no hope of ever finding my way back to sim... gasping A big game. Oh, I want to play. Name that monster. the wheel faster to select Frankenstein Spin the wheel. Round, round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows. You know, I bet if I pull this lever something really fun happens. the lever Where's my prize? Does it come out of that umbrellaey thingy? *''jack-o-lantern transitions into Judy in a kitchen'' *'Judy': Hugh! This year instead of candy I'm giving out healthy snacks. Oh, don't you think the children will just love my prune puffs and banana balls? *''Hugh appears, growling'' *'Judy': Well, aren't you a little grumpy Gus tonight? *''Hugh growls again'' *'Judy': What a wonderful costume. But I thought you were going to be the Duck Man of La Mancha. *''Hugh growls, then Judy throws a candy at Frankenstein Hugh, choking, then growling'' *'Judy': Well there's no need to get in a huff. Now, will you light the jack-o-lantern, please? the fire on I'll get my costume on. Oh, you're going to love it. Be right back. *'Frankenstein Hugh': shaking his fire Fire! Fire! growling Fire bad. his door from frame, shaking it up, going out *''to Werewolf Sheen and Vampire Carl, walking up, then Willoughby appears, screaming'' *'Both': Trick or treat. *'Willoughby': Well, what marvelous costumes. Don't you look darling. the treat to Carl and Sheen *'Both': Thanks. *'Willoughby': Oh, I used to love to dress up for Halloween. One year I was a butterfly. Then I was an elf, a sprite, an ice skater. I was Peter Pan six times. Michelangelo's David, and I got to tell you, that was chilly. then chuckling, then closing the door *'Werewolf Sheen': This is great. We got so much candy, we're going to be sick for weeks. *'Vampire Carl': I don't like the candy you have to unwrap. I always cut myself on the shiny paper. a paper, shaking his finger back and forth, cutting the finger Ow! See? I cut myself. I'm bleeding. Medic! *'Werewolf Sheen': Carl, don't be such a big baby. *'Vampire Carl': his blood from his finger Mmm, not bad. Tastes like cherry soda with a lot of vinegar in it. Mmm, mmm, boy, that is good. I mean, mmm, mmm. licking the blood That is really good. Hey, try some you guys. It's way better than Purple Flurp. *'Werewolf Sheen': No way, I'm not drinking your blood. *'Jimmy': Yeah, no thanks, Carl. *'Vampire Carl': Mmm, mmm. accent I want more. I need blood. *'Werewolf Sheen': You need counseling. *'Vampire Carl': Must have blood! the dogs howling Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make. I must join them. into a bat Bye, you guys. accent See you later. *'Werewolf Sheen': the bag That was weird, but totally awesome. I want to change into a bat, I want to fly. Make me a bat, Jimmy, make me a bat. *'Jimmy': What... What... I didn't do that. Carl just changed into a vampire bat on his own. *'Werewolf Sheen': But it's Halloween, what do you expect? *'Jimmy': The monster maker must have mutated Carl's molecular structure on a subatomic level, altering his DNA. *'Werewolf Sheen': Hmm... And now again in English. *'Jimmy': He's a real vampire. *'Werewolf Sheen': Cool! *'Jimmy': Not cool. If Carl turned into a real vampire, then you could turn into a real... the dogs barking *''clouds reveal the moon, the Sheen snarls and grunts'' *'Jimmy': Uh, Sheen, I think we'd better go back to the lab. *''snarls'' *'Jimmy': Or not. to the seat, yelping Got to fly. *''Sheen spins around, falling to the ground, looking at Jimmy flying in the sky'' *'Jimmy': This is going to be a memorable Halloween, Goddard, if we survive. *''Sheen, runs up, snarling, the Vampire Carl sticks his tongue out, then Frankenstein Hugh walks up, then cut to Jimmy landing in a park'' *'Jimmy': I can't believe Carl and Sheen turned into a real vampire and werewolf. I've got to capture them and turn them back. Goddard, access vampire data so I know what I'm dealing with. *''barks, opening a screen'' *'Jimmy': "Vampires feed on the blood of the living. They can turn their victims into vampires and are repelled by garlic. They can only be destroyed by a wooden stake driven into their heart." *''closes the screen, whining'' *'Jimmy': Goddard What have you got on werewolves? *'Ms. Fowl': mysteriously Even a man who is pure at heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright. *'Jimmy': Uh, hi, Ms. Fowl. How do you know about werewolves? *'Ms. Fowl': I was married to one, but that's a story for another day. *'Jimmy': Ms. Fowl Uh, anything else I should know? Well, they can turn other people into werewolves by biting them, and they can only be destroyed by a silver... *'Jimmy': Bullet? *'Ms. Fowl': Cane, spoon, hairbrush, anything silver. Okay, happy Halloween. Don't forget to floss. away, disappearing into the woods *'Jimmy': Come on, boy. We've got work to do. *''to Vampire Carl, flying to Cindy, transforming back into a human'' *'Vampire Carl': Good evening. *'Cindy': Oh! Carl? You scared me. *'Vampire Carl': Sorry. *'Cindy': I thought you were going to be Lama Boy for the 900th time. *'Vampire Carl': Lama Boy is how you say, old school. May I say, you look enchanting tonight. *'Cindy': Thanks. I'm Muffy the Vampire Annihilator. *''Carl hisses at Cindy'' *'Cindy': Whatever. Have you seen Libby? I'm supposed to meet her to go trick or treating, and she's late. I could wring her neck. *'Vampire Carl': laughing Speaking of necks, I couldn't help but notice how lovely your neck looks tonight. *'Cindy': My neck? What's your problem? *'Vampire Carl': Look into my eyes. I mean, if you don't mind. *'Cindy': Why the heck would I wanna... *'Vampire Carl': Look into my eyes! *'Cindy': red swirls in her eyes Yes, master. *'Vampire Carl': What is your blood type? *'Cindy': A-positive, master. *'Vampire Carl': Mmm, how positively delicious. Cindy, screaming *''to Jimmy and Goddard'' *'Jimmy': Goddard, set you audio locators for any werewolf howls and vampire screams. *''uses a radio dish to look around, going left, then cut to Libby, hearing Sheen growling, then she stops walking, looking around, then she continues walking, hearing Sheen growling again, landing on the ground'' *'Libby': Hi, Sheen. Cool costume. I'm a fashion model. How do I look? *'Werewolf Sheen': Tasty. *'Libby': Thanks. *'Werewolf Sheen': You got any meat on you? Prime rib, filet minion, rump roast? *'Libby': Do I look like a butcher? *'Werewolf Sheen': Have you seen any livestock, cows, pigs, sheeps? *'Libby': Sheen, you're usually weird, but tonight you got a little extra going on. *'Werewolf Sheen': I need meat! *'Libby': Well, don't look at me. I'm a vegetarian. *'Werewolf Sheen': I knew it! Carl owes me two bucks. He thought you were a Republican. *'Libby': Vegetarian means I don't eat meat. *'Werewolf Sheen': Oh, But you are meat. *'Libby': Well, yeah, if you want to get gross about it. *'Werewolf Sheen': I do. How about a bite? *'Libby': Of what? *'Werewolf Sheen': You. then eating Libby, screaming *''back to Jimmy and Goddard, barking'' *'Jimmy': We're getting close. I just hope we're not too late. to Carl and Cindy *''to Frankenstein Hugh, walking down, mumbling, shaking his hands'' *'Frankenstein Hugh': Wish I could walk faster. growls *'Sam': playing his violin Oh, hiya, Neutron. Thought I'd fiddle around with the old Stradivarius. Any requests? *''Hugh mumbles'' *'Sam': I'm not familiar with that one. Can you hum a few bars? *''Hugh growls'' *'Sam': Say, that's kinda catchy. But, who wrote it? *''Hugh mumbles'' *'Sam': Never heard of him. *'Judy': Hugh Neutron! What on Earth are you doing? I need you at home to help me pass out fruit snacks. *'Frankenstein Hugh': mumbling Me want you. *'Judy': Hugh, please use complete sentences. *''Hugh mumbles'' *'Judy': Oh, don't mumble. You sound like you have a mouth full of marbles. *'Frankenstein Hugh': mumbling Mine. Judy *'Judy': Hugh, what are you doing? This isn't our rumba-lesson night. *''mumbles, carrying Judy'' *'Sam': sighs I wish I was married. *''back to Jimmy and Goddard, going to Carl and Cindy'' *'Jimmy': There's Carl and Cindy. Cindy, stay away from Carl. He's a vampire. A real, live, I mean, dead, I mean... *''Cindy turns around and hisses at Jimmy, then Jimmy gasps, then Goddard barks'' *'Vampire Carl': Cindy has joined me. You, too, must join me. It only takes one bite. and Cindy hiss at Jimmy approaching him, then they flip over him and land in front of his hovercar *'Jimmy': Uh, uh... Hey, look, the Red Cross is having a blood drive. *'Both': Where? Where? *''and Goddard run away, going to Lucky Tony's House of Garlic store'' *'Vampire Carl': Make like a bat and follow me. *'Vampire Cindy': Yes, master. *''transform into vampire bats, flying after Jimmy, running to Lucky Tony's House of Garlic store, screaming'' *'Vampire Carl': No, no! *'Vampire Cindy': No! *'Jimmy': sighs Looks like Lucky Tony's House of Garlic saved our lives. *''barks'' *'Jimmy': But we can't stay here all night. Let's sneak back to the hover car through the alley. *''both sneak in the alley, looking around, hearing Werewolf Sheen and Werewolf Libby growling'' *'Jimmy': That's not good. behind him seeing Werewolf Sheen and Werewolf Libby approaching him, growling and gasps Sheen must have bitten Libby. *'Werewolf Libby': We're just good friends, and you better not have rabies. *'Werewolf Sheen': Don't worry. I've had all my shots. Thanks for turning me into a werewolf, Jimmy. It's awesome. Oh, except for the fleas. *'Werewolf Libby': Hey, Sheen, you said we were going to get something to eat. How about Jimmy? *''both chase Jimmy, growling with Jimmy screaming, going to the Hi Ho Silver jewelry store, screaming, hiding the door, then they growl, looking at the cups, whimpering, running away'' *'Jimmy': heavily Looks like the Hi Ho Silver jewelry store saved our lives. *''looks at Hugh carrying Judy'' *'Judy': Oh. *'Jimmy': Mom? Dad? *''Hugh growls'' *'Judy': Your father's not himself tonight, dear. *'Jimmy': He must have gotten into the lab and used the monster machine. *''Hugh mumbles'' *'Judy': Stop that. *'Frankenstein Hugh': Judy She hate me. *'Vampire Carl': Hi, Mrs. Neutron. You look so pretty, and full of blood. *'Judy': Why, thank you, Car... What? *'Vampire Carl': Look into my eyes, please. *'Frankenstein Hugh': growling She mine. *'Vampire Carl': Take a number, flathead. *''Hugh grabs Vampire Carl'' *'Vampire Carl': I'm going to bite you on the neck. *''Hugh hits Vampire Carl'' *'Vampire Carl': Ow! *'Werewolf Sheen': A rumble, cool. *'Vampire Carl': Okay, hold on. You want a piece of me? You're messing with the wrong fat vampire. *''continue fighting, then Vampire Cindy hisses, then Werewolf Libby growls'' *'Vampire Cindy': Libby, did you do something to your hair? *'Werewolf Libby': No, are you using teeth whitener? *'Vampire Cindy': Look into my eyes. *'Werewolf Libby': No, way. You look into my eyes while I take a big old bite out of you. *''Cindy starts fighting with Werewolf Libby'' *'Jimmy': This is pretty cool, but I have to change all them back to normal before they kill each other. *''all continue fighting'' *'Jimmy': I can't get them all back to the lab by myself. There's only one way to handle this. Come on. *'Vampire Carl': Hold still, Sheen. I'm trying to bite you. *'Werewolf Sheen': No, I want to bite you. *'Vampire Carl': Copycat. *'Werewolf Sheen': I'm not a cat, I'm a wolf. *'Judy': to the people Stop fighting! You should be ashamed. Now, you work this out among yourselves. I'm going home to hand out fruit snacks. I'll see you later, Hugh Neutron. *'Werewolf Sheen': She's right. Why are we attacking each other? We're monsters. We should be going after innocent townspeople. Who wants to rampage through town? *'All': Me! I do! *'Werewolf Sheen': Let's go. *'Jimmy': I have to find something that can take on two werewolves, two vampires and a reanimated corpse. Ha-hah, that's it. I'll lower the replication frequency so my DNA doesn't change like the others. Goddard, initiate transformation sequence. *''pulls the lever down, transforming Jimmy into an octopus, then the skull transitions into people walking down the street'' *'Sam': gasping Great flipping toadstools. Real monsters. We got to destroy them. Quick, go get some angry villagers, some torches, garlic, some silver junk, and beautiful red-head woman named Tessy. *'Ms. Fowl': We don't need a beautiful red-haired woman named Tessy. *'Sam': Speak for yourself. *''to Octopus Jimmy and Goddard, barking and whimpering'' *'Octopus Jimmy': Don't worry, Goddard. Everything's going to be fine, I hope. *'Ms. Fowl': squawking Back, you monsters. *'Sam': Get out of here. This is a nice, quiet neighborhood. *''villagers yell angrily'' *'Vampire Carl': Ah, garlic. *''villagers continue yelling'' *'Frankenstein Hugh': Fire. *''villager taps the spoons'' *'Werewolf Sheen': Silver teaspoons. *'Ms. Fowl': Sorry, Sam, I couldn't find you a red-haired woman named Tessy. *'Sam': Ain't that the story of my life. Oh, well, get those monsters. *''villagers walk up the gang, running away, then the jack-o-lantern transitions into a golf course'' *'Werewolf Sheen': Come on, let's hide over there. *''all hide to the windmill'' *'Sam': Set fire to the windmill. Burn it, and the evil monsters with it. *''all yell'' *'Crowd': Yeah! *'Man': Hey, hi, excuse us. Playing through. *'Sam': his torch Burn, baby, burn. *'Woman': We don't want you here. *'Werewolf Sheen': Um, unfortunately I think this is the part where the monsters die. *'Vampire Carl': What is that? *'Werewolf Sheen': It's horrible. *'Vampire Cindy': It's hideous. *'Werewolf Libby': It's Jimmy? *'Vampire': No, it's Octopus Man! *'Frankenstein Hugh': Me love you. *'Sam': I've had it. Flying octopuses is where I draw the line yet. Yeah, run! *''villagers run away, screaming, then Octopus Jimmy sucks up Werewolf Sheen, Werewolf Libby, Vampire Cindy, Frankenstein Hugh, and Vampire Carl, then they all carry back to the Neutronic Monster Maker, then the skull transitions into the Neutronic Monster Maker, transforming back to normal humans'' *'Carl': Hey, I don't want to drink blood anymore. *'Cindy': Yuck, me neither. *'Sheen': I've lost all desire to consume human flesh. *'Hugh': Hey, I can speak in complete sentences. And now, where's my scary little Sugarbooger? *'Judy': Right here, you monster. Who's up for banana balls and prune puffs? *''all express in disgust'' *'Sheen': No, thanks. *'Cindy': We went candy. *'Libby': We never get to go trick-or-treating. *'Sheen': And we left behind all our candy when we changed into monsters. *'Carl': I bet it's gone by now. *'Hugh': No candy on Halloween? That is scary. *''lines'' *'Octopus Jimmy': Don't worry. I can fix that. the doorbells Trick or treat. *''screen puts up "HAPPY HALLOWEEN"'' Category:The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius Transcripts Category:Halloween Transcripts